So this Berkow Jerkow whatever he’s called. Made this big fuss in your Houses of Parliament, saying Donald J Trump can’t come and speak there. Let me tell you this. It didn’t happen. Not one bit.

You saw it on TV? Let me tell you this, three letters, C… G … I. All special effects. And that whole building … looked realistic? All plywood built in your world-famous Pinewood Studios where they do those fabulous James Bond films.

Fake news, it’s all fake news – but I bet you believed it. You Brits are such suckers, your press has kidded you for centuries you’re this big boots leading nation, that you got some special relationship with the US of A, that you got submarines with nukes.  All nonsense. You guys sicken me.

But don’t believe anything in the media you see about me. Nothing. Not one word. I might not even really be president. Now, there’s a thought. Think about it.